COLORADO SPRINGS — The holidays bring joy and cheer for many families but it can also cause stress and anxiety. One grief expert said the holiday season can be hard for those who lost their loved ones. The organization Heartbeat in Colorado Springs is encouraging people to reach out for support.
Heartbeat was started back in 1980 by a woman who's son died by suicide. Now the organization provides peer support for families experiencing similar losses.
Saturday, November 18, 2023 was International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day. Heartbeat and partner organizations held an event to provide resources to families who have lost someone they love to suicide.
Heartbeat also holds monthly meetings for families. According to the Executive Director of Heartbeat Betty Van Thournout, they have both in person and Zoom meetings.
“We want people to know they are not alone. We are here for them, to talk to them, to help them through some of the hard parts, to answer questions that you really can’t ask anybody else,” Van Thournout said.
Van Thournout said people from across the world, including from Canada, Austria and Colombia, call into their monthly Zoom meetings.
“When you lost someone to suicide it feels so very isolating so it is helpful to know that there are others that you can look to, who are further down their road in their grief journey, to say oh my gosh there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I can survive this loss,” Van Thournout said.
Betty Van Thournout and her husband Kevin lost their son in 2014.
“We lost our beautiful redheaded boy, 26 years old. His name is Ryan, and due to some circumstances in his life, we lost him to suicide,” Van Thournout said.
Van Thournout had no idea what to do or where to turn.
“I woke up the morning after I found out about our son and I said, I have to know there are other mothers. I have to know their other moms that know what this feels like because I can't survive this unless I know someone else's done it,” Van Thournout said.
Van Thournout started attending Heartbeat meetings, three weeks after her son passed away.
“It was such a wonderful, healing, to know okay I am not alone, I can do this, I can do this,” Van Thournout said.
She said grief from this type of loss can be very dark and hard to go through.
“You’re in such a fog you don't know what step to take first, you just fall into this pit,” Van Thournout said. “The reason that we do this is to watch people come out of that dark black dark grief and to start to see the light again.”
Lucrecia is also a part of Heartbeat.
“Our daughter was 15 years old when she took her life and it is something that the repercussions of it, we live with the rest of our lives,” Lucrecia said.
Lucrecia said the support group helps give people hope and more education surrounding suicide.
“Some knowledge that they are not alone in this, suicide affects everybody not just the person lost the family member or friend it is kind of a ripple effect,” Lucrecia said.
She is devoted to helping other families going through this.
“It is something I do to give back to the community, to let people know that even though this horrific event happens you can do it and you can help others,” Lucrecia said.
Lucrecia said she has been able to find a support system through Heartbeat.
“I have met my best friend at Heartbeat and I have many individuals at Heartbeat that I consider to be close friends and who have been there for me,” Lucrecia said.
Van Thournout said it's important to not go through this alone.
“Find your support group, someone who can hold you up when your legs can no longer stand,” Van Thournout said. “We are here for you I matter where you are in your journey, cause we are all there,we are all right there with you.”
They said as we go into the holidays to reach out to loved ones, old friends, and family members to check in on them. On December 12th, Heartbeat is holding a tree lighting.
People can make an ornament free of cost in remembrance of their loved one. You can sign up for an ornament and find resources to grief support groups through the Heartbeat website.
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