COLORADO SPRINGS — The holidays can be a difficult time for families who have lost a loved one to suicide. One small symbol in Colorado Springs gives people who are grieving some light.
Decorated with lights from trunk to top is The Heartbeat Memory Tree.
“If it offers just a little bit of peace to people, then it's worth it,” Betty VanThournout said.
The tree is located at Rock Ledge Ranch in Colorado Springs.
“We do this every year. Rock Ledge Ranch allows us the use of their tree. Timberline landscaping offers their services, and they light the tree for us,” VanThournout said.
During the holiday season, families place an ornament on a tree branch, each one hanging for healing.
"Each ornament on the tree represents a life lost to suicide,” VanThournout said.
The ornaments are engraved with a name and a special design.
“It symbolizes the fact that these names are people that were loved,” VanThournout said.
One of the 400 ornaments belongs to VanThournout.
"My husband and I, we lost our son, Ryan, in July of 2014, and at the time, we felt that that loss was not survivable. I didn't know how we were going to move forward. And that's when we found Heartbeat,” VanThournout said.
Heartbeat is an organization in Colorado Springs that provides support groups for families who have lost someone to suicide.
“We help people find their joy again, to help them move through these holidays,” VanThournout said.
VanThournout is the Executive Director of Heartbeat.
“Heartbeat was started in 1980. I do believe that it was shortly after that, I want to say, within a couple of years, that they started the tree,” VanThournout said.
Every winter VanThournout helps create the memory tree.
“We just found it to be a beautiful way to honor people and just let their loved ones know they are not forgotten,” VanThournout said. “We always say at heartbeat that the manner of their death does not determine the life that they lived. They were wonderful, loving people, and so this just honors them and says we remember, we remember, and we love you and we honor you.”
Heartbeat held its annual tree lighting on Tuesday, December 10.
“People were in awe as it lit because it's absolutely beautiful. Many tears have been shed around this tree, lots of emotions,” VanThournout said.
She tells people at this time of year to have a plan.
“You have to realize that I'm grieving. My brain is not quite all the way there. I'm still in my fog. You have to have a plan of what that holiday is going to look like if you change it up a little bit or continue to do the traditions, but just honor your loved one, maybe in a new way.”
It is important also for those healing to take time for themselves.
“Plenty of rest, plenty of good nutrition, and then just recognize When you're grieving and allow it to feel all the feels. Don't fight the tears, let them come. Don't fight the laughter. Let it happen,” VanThournout said.
She says if you have lost someone to suicide, reach out to Heartbeat.
“They can reach out to us via email or Facebook. We are happy to talk with anyone at any time. We even do Zoom meetings one-on-one, and then we offer a once-a-month Zoom meeting for people who don't have a support group like us in their area. So that's become very special as well. But the biggest thing to remember is just take care of you, honor your feelings, communicate to your loved ones how you're feeling and how they can help you, that's the best thing to do.”
The tree lights up every night when it gets dark, at Rock Ledge Ranch. The memory tree will be lit until the second week in January.
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